I have been a bad CBB blogger. An unexpected train journey
on Monday night threw me off schedule, and as anyone who has experience of
using 5 On Demand will know, trying to ‘catch up’ is a task for those with the
patience of a saint.
Twitter had already informed me that Monday’s episode was as dull as dishwater, but I didn’t want to miss it, if not only for the opportunity to scoff and eye-roll at the stupid things that Sophie says.
I have nothing to say about the opening of the show, other than this- Lauren’s hair.
From one startling sight to another, we are confronted with Sophie’s breasts in the mirror are she is preening. They’re not bare, she has retained her modesty by wearing a thin mesh bra; the most comfortable underwear for making snide comments about Courtney Stodden’s dresses don’t you know?
Lauren is doing Irish Reality Star Danielle’s hair for her and is giving her that “5 year old playing with Mummy’s things” look that’s so on-trend right now by knotting a round brush into Irish Reality Star Danielle’s fringe. Even Charlotte, who I’m sure has got a brush or two stuck in her hair in her time, can’t help the situation after her plan of blinding Irish Reality Star Danielle with leave-conditioner fails.
We briefly see Abz and Dustin, who until now I’d forgotten was in there, trade philosophical quotes before returning to the bedroom, where Courtney has been enlisted to help free Irish Reality Star Danielle’s fringe. It’s ok though, her mum is a hairdresser and she deftly teases the brush out of the fringe. Thank God.
Finally, it’s task time! The housemates are asked to show of their talents and perform on BB Street (I see whatcha did there guys); the housemate who receives the most tips from their fellow housemates wins. Charlotte wailswhat I suspect most of the housemates are thinking; “How am I gonna do this one?!”
Bruce sings some song about wine, Dustin does stand-up, Irish Reality Star Danielle does stand-up, Charlotte performs a one woman 60 second re-enactment of the last four series of Geordie Shore, Ron sings (considering what he could of done, this is a blessing), Sophie walks, Lauren does burlesque (who knew?), Vicky does Janice and Courtney gets marries in lingerie.
I can only assume that Carol and Mario do something so cringe-worthy that even Channel 5 chose not to broadcast it.
Charlotte wins and is later rewarded with a beer and a burger in the Diary Room.
Ron strikes again, when in a conversation with Sophie, says “We don’t like people who take drugs do we?” looking at Bruce, “Like police men and customs officers.” Hey Ron, Jim Davidson called, he wants his joke back.
The ‘secret’ cult convene for the last time in order to choose the final housemate who will face eviction this week. Knowing that this ridiculous twist is coming to an end makes the next 3 minutes much easier to watch. Louie and Lauren vote against Sophie’s choice of Courtney to face the public vote, which sends Sophie into a right sulk. Not that you’d know it, her passive aggressive “It’s fine” keeps the cat in the bag.
And that’s the end of that.
It’s then revealed to the house that Vicky will face the public vote along side Ron and Irish Reality Star Danielle. Everyone takes it fairly well, apart from Bruce, who cries. It’s then time for the good stuff, as the secret Cult of Celebrity (the one that Irish Reality Star and Mario suspected 3 days ago) is revealed to the house. The housemates eagerly watch Louie, Lauren and Sophie tear strips off Courtney and Irish Reality Star Danielle does her best blow-up doll impression when she watches Sophie say “I don’t understand why Danielle is here.”
Sophie tries to defend herself by telling the housmates that they only saw “certain clips”, obviously hoping that her roomies won’t cotton on to the fact that the last two nominations were made whilst the three of them were living in the house. Louie laughs it off, Lauren apologises and Sophie shrugs.
Irish Reality Star Danielle is not happy and confronts Sophie about what she has said in the garden. It’s then revealed that they have met before, which doesn’t help Sophie’s case in the slightest (nor does her incessant sweetheart-ing).
We also see that Vicky has a little bit of a problem with Louie and decides to spend her evening impersonating him, behind his back. Also note, this impersonation mainly just involves throwing her arms up in the air and flinging her legs around.
Back inside the house, Carol McGiffin is pissed. Really pissed. She is frog-marched to bedroom by the pillars of responsibility that are Charlotte and Mario, where she wakes the rest of the sleeping housemates by screeching “I can’t get my trousers off!”
Now, I did see a few tweets of disgust commenting on Carol’s slurring state, but I suspect I would have seen a whole lot more of “What a drunken slag” if Charlotte had been the one being dragged to bed.
And that’s another episode down. That’s honestly how if feels right now. I won’t stop watching, due to my own stubbornness, but mustering the desire to watch every episode is a real chore. However, come Friday I will be unemployed, so my feelings will most likely change and I will look forward to the show every night, as it means another guilt-filled day of unemployment is over.
Favourite moment? Lauren Harries getting her earring stuck to a cushion.
Twitter had already informed me that Monday’s episode was as dull as dishwater, but I didn’t want to miss it, if not only for the opportunity to scoff and eye-roll at the stupid things that Sophie says.
I have nothing to say about the opening of the show, other than this- Lauren’s hair.
From one startling sight to another, we are confronted with Sophie’s breasts in the mirror are she is preening. They’re not bare, she has retained her modesty by wearing a thin mesh bra; the most comfortable underwear for making snide comments about Courtney Stodden’s dresses don’t you know?
Lauren is doing Irish Reality Star Danielle’s hair for her and is giving her that “5 year old playing with Mummy’s things” look that’s so on-trend right now by knotting a round brush into Irish Reality Star Danielle’s fringe. Even Charlotte, who I’m sure has got a brush or two stuck in her hair in her time, can’t help the situation after her plan of blinding Irish Reality Star Danielle with leave-conditioner fails.
We briefly see Abz and Dustin, who until now I’d forgotten was in there, trade philosophical quotes before returning to the bedroom, where Courtney has been enlisted to help free Irish Reality Star Danielle’s fringe. It’s ok though, her mum is a hairdresser and she deftly teases the brush out of the fringe. Thank God.
Finally, it’s task time! The housemates are asked to show of their talents and perform on BB Street (I see whatcha did there guys); the housemate who receives the most tips from their fellow housemates wins. Charlotte wailswhat I suspect most of the housemates are thinking; “How am I gonna do this one?!”
Bruce sings some song about wine, Dustin does stand-up, Irish Reality Star Danielle does stand-up, Charlotte performs a one woman 60 second re-enactment of the last four series of Geordie Shore, Ron sings (considering what he could of done, this is a blessing), Sophie walks, Lauren does burlesque (who knew?), Vicky does Janice and Courtney gets marries in lingerie.
I can only assume that Carol and Mario do something so cringe-worthy that even Channel 5 chose not to broadcast it.
Charlotte wins and is later rewarded with a beer and a burger in the Diary Room.
Ron strikes again, when in a conversation with Sophie, says “We don’t like people who take drugs do we?” looking at Bruce, “Like police men and customs officers.” Hey Ron, Jim Davidson called, he wants his joke back.
The ‘secret’ cult convene for the last time in order to choose the final housemate who will face eviction this week. Knowing that this ridiculous twist is coming to an end makes the next 3 minutes much easier to watch. Louie and Lauren vote against Sophie’s choice of Courtney to face the public vote, which sends Sophie into a right sulk. Not that you’d know it, her passive aggressive “It’s fine” keeps the cat in the bag.
And that’s the end of that.
It’s then revealed to the house that Vicky will face the public vote along side Ron and Irish Reality Star Danielle. Everyone takes it fairly well, apart from Bruce, who cries. It’s then time for the good stuff, as the secret Cult of Celebrity (the one that Irish Reality Star and Mario suspected 3 days ago) is revealed to the house. The housemates eagerly watch Louie, Lauren and Sophie tear strips off Courtney and Irish Reality Star Danielle does her best blow-up doll impression when she watches Sophie say “I don’t understand why Danielle is here.”
Sophie tries to defend herself by telling the housmates that they only saw “certain clips”, obviously hoping that her roomies won’t cotton on to the fact that the last two nominations were made whilst the three of them were living in the house. Louie laughs it off, Lauren apologises and Sophie shrugs.
Irish Reality Star Danielle is not happy and confronts Sophie about what she has said in the garden. It’s then revealed that they have met before, which doesn’t help Sophie’s case in the slightest (nor does her incessant sweetheart-ing).
We also see that Vicky has a little bit of a problem with Louie and decides to spend her evening impersonating him, behind his back. Also note, this impersonation mainly just involves throwing her arms up in the air and flinging her legs around.
Back inside the house, Carol McGiffin is pissed. Really pissed. She is frog-marched to bedroom by the pillars of responsibility that are Charlotte and Mario, where she wakes the rest of the sleeping housemates by screeching “I can’t get my trousers off!”
Now, I did see a few tweets of disgust commenting on Carol’s slurring state, but I suspect I would have seen a whole lot more of “What a drunken slag” if Charlotte had been the one being dragged to bed.
And that’s another episode down. That’s honestly how if feels right now. I won’t stop watching, due to my own stubbornness, but mustering the desire to watch every episode is a real chore. However, come Friday I will be unemployed, so my feelings will most likely change and I will look forward to the show every night, as it means another guilt-filled day of unemployment is over.
Favourite moment? Lauren Harries getting her earring stuck to a cushion.
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