On
Monday 10th February, I was called a slag.
It certainly wasn't the first time I've been called a slag, and it certainly won't be the last. It was pretty much a non-event; I crossed the road at a zebra crossing, assuming that the driver of an oncoming car would stop. He obviously wasn't really into the whole 'rules' thing, and ended up having to heavily apply the brakes. As I did a little half-jog half-walk to get to the pavement, he shouted “Stupid slag” from his window and drove off.
Although on the outside my expression appeared blank, on the inside I was enraged; so enraged that I had to take off my scarf and unbutton my coat as I stomped through Wordsley, before I angrily sweated myself into a dehydrated stupor.
Between fantasising about running after the car, catching up with him and 1)delivering a short but powerful speech on how damaging the term slag is to women and converting him into a FeMANist and 2)beating him to death with my purse (anyone else's purse get really heavy? Like, REALLY heavy?), I started giving some thought as to why I find the word slag so hideous.
Since November 2013 I've kept a note on my phone, recording all the times that I've been called a slag; I've been planning a post like this for quite a while. Let's take a little trip down memory lane, shall we?
- I bumped into a man.
- I didn't get onto an escalator quickly enough.
- I walked past a builder at Aston University.
- I told a guy to “Piss off” when he called me a “sexy bitch”.
- I gave a guy a dirty look when he shouted “FIT” into my face.
- A man bumped into me.
- I walked past a man at Birmingham New Street Station.
- I said “Fuck you” to a man who, whilst enjoying an e-cigarette outside of a bar, told me that he'd love to fuck me in the arse. I realise that my response was probably not the best, considering.
- I moved to a different train carriage after a group of men old enough to be my father surrounded me and tried to put their arms around me.
- I walked past a man in the street.
- I hit a man on the arm with my handbag when getting off a bus.
- I told a guy to “Piss off” when he leaned into me and made a weird humming noise.
Before I continue, I'm going to say something that shouldn't need saying, but I know that at least one person will think it; this isn't a humble brag. When men say things like this to me, I don't think it means that I'm attractive and I don't find it complimentary. All girls know the difference between the feeling that you get when you've caught someone checking you out, and the stomach-churning, skin-crawling, lump-in-throat-inducing feeling that you get when a stranger leans into you when you walk past them, or a group of men leer at you and begin to follow you.
We all know where the term 'slag' comes from. Didn't we all watch that mind numbing video about iron ore smelting in Year 9 science class, whilst stifling giggles every time the narrator said 'slag'? We were all giggling because we knew the real meaning of the word slag; at that age it was any girl that had let some inexperienced, ink-stained hands get beneath her bra, but you get the picture.
I don't want to sound like the start of a bad Powerpoint presentation, but Cambridge Dictionaries Online defines slag as “a woman who people disapprove of because she has had a lot of sexual partners.”
Ok, nothing new here; a slag is a woman who’s sexual behaviour is not approved of. I don't agree with the sentiment and I definitely don't give a toss about anyone's sexual behaviour, but that's the definition that we all know and love (or see as an example of a seemingly-inescapable, suffocating patriarchy, or whatever).
So why are women called slags when they voice an opinion that someone (The Slag Caller, as we shall affectionately title them) doesn't agree with? Or they tread on The Slag Caller's toe in a club? Or they try to get the faces of inspirational women printed onto our currency?
Personally, I think it's because to be seen as too sexually available (although, be careful that you're not too sexually UNavailable ladies, because that's bad too, apparently) is still thought to be one of the worst things a woman can be. You're waste material. Being too sexually available is associated with all sorts of things; bad parenting, lack of education, poor hygiene, even gluttony.
I might sound like I'm quoting Christina Aguilera (and Lil' Kim), but there really is no male equivalent. You can call a guy a dick, but you can call a woman a dick. Any time a man is referred to as a slag, it's always prefixed with the word man; I.e man-slag, man-slut, man-whore etc. This is because those words are all inherently female, and that's the problem.
So let me be clear, I'm not angry because the driver called me a slag without knowing whether I have in fact had a lot of sexual partners or not. Maybe I have had a lot, what's a lot? I have definitely done some things that someone, somewhere would deem “a bit slaggy”. I think it's pretty shitty to be called a slag whether you've slept with 2 or 200 people.
I'm angry because 'slag' seems to be the go-to insult when you want to make a woman feel small. There are much worse things that I could be called, things that would make me cry and question who I am as a person, but nothing makes me feel as angry, frustrated, invisible, silent and unfortunately sweaty as being called a slag.
I'm now taking my 'Time's I've Been Called A Slag' list to Twitter. Every time I'm called a slag, or a slut, or I remember an incident with a misty-eyed fondness, I'm going to post it using the hashtag #ReasonsIHaveBeenCalledASlag
Please, join me.
And then hopefully everyone will realise how fucking stupid it is.
PS
Guys, don't call girls slags.
Girls, don't call girls slags.
It certainly wasn't the first time I've been called a slag, and it certainly won't be the last. It was pretty much a non-event; I crossed the road at a zebra crossing, assuming that the driver of an oncoming car would stop. He obviously wasn't really into the whole 'rules' thing, and ended up having to heavily apply the brakes. As I did a little half-jog half-walk to get to the pavement, he shouted “Stupid slag” from his window and drove off.
Although on the outside my expression appeared blank, on the inside I was enraged; so enraged that I had to take off my scarf and unbutton my coat as I stomped through Wordsley, before I angrily sweated myself into a dehydrated stupor.
Between fantasising about running after the car, catching up with him and 1)delivering a short but powerful speech on how damaging the term slag is to women and converting him into a FeMANist and 2)beating him to death with my purse (anyone else's purse get really heavy? Like, REALLY heavy?), I started giving some thought as to why I find the word slag so hideous.
Since November 2013 I've kept a note on my phone, recording all the times that I've been called a slag; I've been planning a post like this for quite a while. Let's take a little trip down memory lane, shall we?
- I bumped into a man.
- I didn't get onto an escalator quickly enough.
- I walked past a builder at Aston University.
- I told a guy to “Piss off” when he called me a “sexy bitch”.
- I gave a guy a dirty look when he shouted “FIT” into my face.
- A man bumped into me.
- I walked past a man at Birmingham New Street Station.
- I said “Fuck you” to a man who, whilst enjoying an e-cigarette outside of a bar, told me that he'd love to fuck me in the arse. I realise that my response was probably not the best, considering.
- I moved to a different train carriage after a group of men old enough to be my father surrounded me and tried to put their arms around me.
- I walked past a man in the street.
- I hit a man on the arm with my handbag when getting off a bus.
- I told a guy to “Piss off” when he leaned into me and made a weird humming noise.
Before I continue, I'm going to say something that shouldn't need saying, but I know that at least one person will think it; this isn't a humble brag. When men say things like this to me, I don't think it means that I'm attractive and I don't find it complimentary. All girls know the difference between the feeling that you get when you've caught someone checking you out, and the stomach-churning, skin-crawling, lump-in-throat-inducing feeling that you get when a stranger leans into you when you walk past them, or a group of men leer at you and begin to follow you.
We all know where the term 'slag' comes from. Didn't we all watch that mind numbing video about iron ore smelting in Year 9 science class, whilst stifling giggles every time the narrator said 'slag'? We were all giggling because we knew the real meaning of the word slag; at that age it was any girl that had let some inexperienced, ink-stained hands get beneath her bra, but you get the picture.
I don't want to sound like the start of a bad Powerpoint presentation, but Cambridge Dictionaries Online defines slag as “a woman who people disapprove of because she has had a lot of sexual partners.”
Ok, nothing new here; a slag is a woman who’s sexual behaviour is not approved of. I don't agree with the sentiment and I definitely don't give a toss about anyone's sexual behaviour, but that's the definition that we all know and love (or see as an example of a seemingly-inescapable, suffocating patriarchy, or whatever).
So why are women called slags when they voice an opinion that someone (The Slag Caller, as we shall affectionately title them) doesn't agree with? Or they tread on The Slag Caller's toe in a club? Or they try to get the faces of inspirational women printed onto our currency?
Personally, I think it's because to be seen as too sexually available (although, be careful that you're not too sexually UNavailable ladies, because that's bad too, apparently) is still thought to be one of the worst things a woman can be. You're waste material. Being too sexually available is associated with all sorts of things; bad parenting, lack of education, poor hygiene, even gluttony.
I might sound like I'm quoting Christina Aguilera (and Lil' Kim), but there really is no male equivalent. You can call a guy a dick, but you can call a woman a dick. Any time a man is referred to as a slag, it's always prefixed with the word man; I.e man-slag, man-slut, man-whore etc. This is because those words are all inherently female, and that's the problem.
So let me be clear, I'm not angry because the driver called me a slag without knowing whether I have in fact had a lot of sexual partners or not. Maybe I have had a lot, what's a lot? I have definitely done some things that someone, somewhere would deem “a bit slaggy”. I think it's pretty shitty to be called a slag whether you've slept with 2 or 200 people.
I'm angry because 'slag' seems to be the go-to insult when you want to make a woman feel small. There are much worse things that I could be called, things that would make me cry and question who I am as a person, but nothing makes me feel as angry, frustrated, invisible, silent and unfortunately sweaty as being called a slag.
I'm now taking my 'Time's I've Been Called A Slag' list to Twitter. Every time I'm called a slag, or a slut, or I remember an incident with a misty-eyed fondness, I'm going to post it using the hashtag #ReasonsIHaveBeenCalledASlag
Please, join me.
And then hopefully everyone will realise how fucking stupid it is.
PS
Guys, don't call girls slags.
Girls, don't call girls slags.
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